I have no friends. Not real life ones anyway.
If for some inexplicable reason you want to get in touch then drop me an email by clicking this link:
You can write what you like really. Emails I’ve received include threats, sexual innuendo, pictures of Keanu Reeves, an elephant, and a recipe for cyanide soup which I plan on making and serving for the Tory party at their next rave.
In the meantime, here’s a picture of Pingu missing the toilet bowl: